De weken zijn voorbij gegleden en die hele lange zomer is nu toch echt veranderd in de herfst. Enkele weken geleden heb ik een nieuwe koptelefoon gekocht. Een Bose 35 II met ruisonderdrukking. Ik had hem al een paar keer in mijn hand gehouden. Ik hikte een beetje tegen de prijs aan, maar mijn vorige Bose koptelefoon was echt geweldig. Alleen na tien jaar was hij op. Symbolisch zullen we maar denken. En ik luister zoveel naar muziek tegenwoordig, omdat het lekker is om je helemaal af te sluiten met je koptelefoon op. Weg van de wereld en de rust van muziek door je hoofd.
Tsja, rust. Echte rust ? Nee, zo zit ik niet in elkaar. Om mijn energie-level hoog te houden heb ik naast werken en veel sporten zo af en toe een nieuwe uitdaging nodig. Maar nu het eind van het jaar in zicht komt besef ik dat de druk een beetje van de ketel af mag. In het Volkskrant magazine van dit weekend lees ik een mooi interview met Shula Rijxman, directrice van de NPO. Een heel herkenbaar stuk over haar periode met kanker, die zomaar haar leven in kwam stormen. Ik herken ‘…..er komt een soort beschermlaag om je heen waardoor het net is of de wereld een beetje van je af staat…….’ En ‘……ik moet minder morsen met mijn tijd…..’. Ik weet niet wat het is, maar mijn oog wordt altijd getrokken naar dit soort artikelen. En nu herken ik mezelf enorm. Tsja… ik probeer ook veel meer ‘quality-time’ te maken en de dingen die eigenlijk onzin zijn uit mijn leven te bannen. Ik probeer de tijd zo goed mogelijk te gebruiken, maar ik merk ook dat ik in een enorme race-baan zit. Ik jaag mezelf op om alles te doen en mee te maken. Dat is wel goed, maar ook heel vermoeiend. Langzaam merk ik dat de ballon een beetje leeg loopt. Constant op je tenen lopen houdt natuurlijk niemand vol. Door de hectiek om me heen lijk ik soms even te vergeten dat ik ziek ben. Dit artikel in de Volkskrant zet mij weer met twee benen op de grond. En dat is ook wel weer even goed.
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